Shed and Evolve

With Summer around the corner many of us get happy! We are delighted that the warmth is upon us, the ocean, the flowers, ice cream ect… We exchange  our winter clothes for our summer clothes, and carry on, but how many people take the time to actually go through their clothes from the past that they haven’t worn in several years? I personally have a few sizes of clothes in my attic that I will be giving to charity, not just because of good will, but because it is a great way of shedding the past. When we keep clothes from our past, it means that we are not accepting of who we are in the present. Perhaps you liked the size you were years ago, and are holding onto the thought that you will one day get back into them,  but have you ever considered that with that thought process, you are essentially saying that you are unacceptable now?  We can never change things from a place of unworthiness. Change comes from loving yourself right were you are! I know it is difficult to look in the mirror and find that your body shape has changed. It’s supposed to! We need to honor and love ourselves every step of our development. When we are in a state of love, there is nothing we can’t create. Therefore, kiss the mirror every morning and be thankful for the 50 trillion cells in your body, for maintaining your health, and for the endless restoration that goes on in our bodies. Our cells most important job each day and every day is to repair and restore. Be grateful, be thankful, and thank God for his creation of you! Your body is perfect just where you are. If you want to evolve, than shed the things that don’t serve you anymore. Shed your past to make way for the beautiful present, because it’s in the present, in the state of love, where new creations can develop. Get rid of old thoughts, start fresh with new ones about where you go from here. Your cells respond to your thoughts. The question is, what are you telling them to do? Are your thoughts stuck in the past?  It’s all how you look at it. Roseglasses

Turn it Around?

Many people are suffering more these days due to changes in our economy. Often it alters our relationships, by adding a lot of stress, anxiety, fear, anger, etc…. How can we honestly make things better when our lives seem to be going in the opposite direction? The other morning I was listening and singing to some very uplifting music while I was waiting my turn in a drive-thru. I was interrupted by a cars horn blasting, but didn’t pay too much attention to it because I like where I was in my mind, and thought it had to do with someone else. Then, again I heard the horn blasting and to my surprise, I realized that it was the girl behind me telling me to move up!! I rolled my window down more, and shouted back to her to relax, I can’t place my order yet because of the car in front of me and because my car couldn’t get to the window yet. I thought jeez! At that moment, I realized that I had given away my peace of mind, and mirrored her state of mind, which did not add to anyone feeling any better. I thought to myself, OK that didn’t go well, so I decided to turn it around. When it was my turn to pay for my order, I decided to do something different, something I’ve not done before. I decided to also pay for the order of the girl behind me too, with hope that her day might be transformed a bit, and most importantly, that she pay it forward. I don’t know if it altered her state at all, but to me it was worth a try. Perhaps  in doing so, we can all save ourselves from falling down so quickly, when faced with adversity. Can you imagine what things would be like if each and every one of us did something unexpected for one other person in the world? Could it be that we have the power to create our destiny, desires, and life, and actually create a better world? Why ……. yes. It’s all how you look at it.

Who Are We?

We are one consciousness. We all have hearts, we all have the same body structures, we all have families, and we all live in light and darkness. The list goes on and on, but the most incredible thing that we all share is VIBRATION. We are all balls of energy, and we can use that energy to create on a vast scale, good feelings or bad feelings. For example, have you ever been in an argument with someone, and someone else enters into the arena, and adds, so to speak, another log to the fire, and then a small fire gets ignited?  It then gets bigger and bigger as more people jump on the band wagon. Now consider for a moment, if people brought good energy to the conversation, after a while, the argument would lose energy and eventually the fire would go out.

 We can influence the greater feelings of the world. What vibration are you adding to the world? What does our world need now? I feel a song coming on. “What the world needs now, is love sweet love…….., and Good, good, good, good vibrations…..

Want to feel better? Want to make a difference? Ask yourself, if the energy you are surrounded by is giving you energy or draining  it. Then ask yourself how am I contributing? There is an abundance of well-being at your finger tips. “Seek and you will find”.

 It’s all how you look at it.

What Does it Mean to Be 50?

What does it mean to be fifty?  Well, I’ve recently arrived there, and now I can finally answer that question from my perspective that is. For me, I feel as if another curtain has been lifted, and suddenly things make more sense, and answers to questions asked long ago are realized. There’s a bit of a sense of  urgency to achieve things I’ve set out to do, however, with the wisdom I’ve gained, I know I don’t need to work at it, rather think what I want to do, spend time imagining what it will be like when it happens, and then, move to the next thought of whatever it is I’m doing. I learned that staying in the moment will keep me from regretting wasting precious time.

While it’s easy to let your mind travel to the past or future, it keeps you from living in the present, and now is all that we have . Often people spend there entire live’s hoping, and wishing, and regretting things, but at the same time they’ve also lost a lot of time not living in the moment. Once this moment is over, it won’t be back.

 I attended a “Celebrate Your Life Conference”, about four years ago in Phoenix AZ, and one of the classes I took, was offered by Byron Katie, author of “Loving What Is”. Katie came up with a formula of four questions to ask yourself, when you are unhappy about something. What unfolded was tremendous insight to not only the 40-year-old lady who volunteered to discuss her issue, but to every person in that room. The lady said that she was angry at her mother for leaving her, when she was 10 years old for one year. Katie asked her the first question. Is it true? Yes, she replied. 2. Are you absolutely sure it’s true? Pause……Yes, she replied. 3. Who would you be without that thought? As the lady searched her mind, she explained how she would feel more at ease, happier, and probably wouldn’t have the fear of being abandoned in her relationships. 4. Turn it around. While the lady put herself in her mom’s shoe’s, she discovered that her mother was young, and needed to get away to pull herself together in order to be a better mom to her, but more importantly, the lady realized that she herself, had left her mother for 30 years because she couldn’t forgive her!!! It was a very powerful moment, and the girl wept in grief. You see, she had spent 30 years of her own life, not living in the moment, but rather resenting her mom, and creating a great wall between them. The truth of the matter came forth, and we all realized the importance of living in the present moment. To be 50 can be nifty, and it certainly comes with wisdom too. It’s all how you look at it.

“What We See We Become”

According to Deepak Chopra, what we see we become, so choose carefully. If you pay closer attention to one’s own behavior throughout the day you can see how this is true. If at any point in the day you find yourself getting angry at someone, try to step back and observe your behavior for a minute. Where did that come from? Are you really mad at someone, or did you very recently see something you didn’t like? Perhaps you had a bad encounter with someone and now have become what you saw.

Several months ago my son and I were waiting in the car at a drive through to get a cup of coffee. My window was down and I heard a big commotion to my left. I looked over and saw a man yelling at what appeared to be his three young children. Two kids were in the backseat of the van, and a very young child was in the front in a diaper standing up on the seat. The man was standing outside of the van yelling at the kids, and then I saw him push the baby to sit down, in an inappropriate way to say the least. I was, shall we say, a bit enraged! At that moment it was time to drive up and place our order. Ripped by what I just saw, I unintentionally and  abruptly gave my order to the girl and my son started shouting  from the back seat that he wanted a chocolate donut too, and I found myself very agitated that he interrupted me, and I shouted at him to be quiet! It was then, at that very moment, that I realized that I became what I saw earlier, and that that behavior didn’t belong to me. It makes you wonder all day and everyday, whether we truly understand someone or not. Perhaps that grumpy person we just saw or spoke to isn’t a …. (you know what), but rather a person who witnessed something ugly prior and simply became that. Now consider that you’ve been around someone who is like a Debby Downer for a while, and you become a downer for the rest of your encounters. What happens is then like a domino effect. We are responsible for what we put out in the universe. Question is what are we putting out? Collectively we are good and bad, and the one that wins is the one we pay most attention to. See for yourself. Try to be an observer of yourself. Listen and pay attention to your behavior during your interactions.  What I have concluded from witnessing things all day everyday, is that  I should choose carefully what I want to see, and when I do, I have a better day. Much like a movie, I like to choose what I want to see. With this information on hand, it makes for better communication, more compassion, understanding, as well as better relationship’s. Look at the company you keep. Look at the things you are drawn too, and ask yourself, is this contributing to the kind of behavior that makes me a better person? Is this behavior contributing to the well-being of our world? Each and every one of us has influence as to the way this movie we’re all playing in plays out. Let’s make it good! It’s all how you look at it.

Gems Within

Have you ever noticed how good you feel after finishing a job you set out to do? Not just a big  job, like a project from work, but rather something as simple as washing dishes, cleaning out a closet, or even shoveling snow. I often find myself very centered when I’m doing something of that nature. It is in that moment when you are most closely in touch with your soul. Leading with your soul makes for a better walk in the park. On a daily basis we are all constantly bombarded with stimulus that makes it difficult for us to hear what our natural guidance system tries to communicate. Some of us deliberately turn on music, or the TV, to keep from hearing complete silence. Some people need the T.V. on just to go to sleep, but the greatest sound can be found in complete silence, or when you are completely focused on what you are doing.  It’s the place where all answers lie, where peace resides, and where you are in perfect alignment with who you really are. 

 When people ask you who you are, we usually respond by saying what we do, or what we do for a living, but who we  really are is a soul, living in a body, having a life experience. Then as we grow up, we find out things about ourselves that are good and not so good, and the not so good things tend to stick, especially if  heard often enough.  There is a  children’s book called, “You Are Special”, by Max Lucado, that talks about this very thing. Everyday, all day small wooden people called Wemmicks would stick either gold stars or grey dots on one another.  The talented, pretty ones  usually got gold stars, and the Wemmicks who were tarnished, ugly, and couldn’t do much would receive grey dots. It became quite evident to all who each Wemmick was. Good or bad, if you were covered in grey dots, that meant that you were useless, no good, and those Wemmicks probably walked with their heads down in disgrace with low self-esteem, and most likely had no energy to do anything because of what others thought about them. But one day, the main character Punchinello, met Lucia who had no stickers at all. People tried to give her gold stars but they wouldn’t stick, so then they tried to give her grey stickers, but they wouldn’t stick either. Punchinello realized that that’s the way he wanted to be too. He didn’t want anybody’s marks.  He quickly asked how she did that, and she replied, “Everyday I go see Eli. Eli is a wood-carver, and told Punchinello to go see him for himself. So off he went to meet Eli, with much fear and anxiety, and discovered that Eli recognized him right away, and was very happy to see him! Eli scooped down to pick him up and said, Let me look at you. Hmmmm. “It seems like you’ve been given some bad marks”. Punchinello said,  “I didn’t mean to, I really tried hard!” Eli lovingly said “You don’t have to defend yourself to me, child. I don’t care what the other Wemmick’s think, and you shouldn’t either”. “Who are they to give you stars or dots?” All that matters is what I think about you, and I think you are pretty special. Punchinello laughed and said, why me, my paint is peeling, I can’t jump, I can’t walk fast ect… Then Eli put his hands on Punchinello’s shoulders, and spoke softly. “Because you’re mine. That’s why you matter to me.” No one had ever looked at him that way before. Eli explained to him that the stickers only stick, if they matter to him, and stickers don’t stay on Lucia because she decided that what I, (Eli), thought was more important than what others thought. Punchinello discovered that Eli was his maker, and when he changed his thoughts about himself the stickers started to fall off. 

 Therefore, don’t be afraid to go deeper within yourself, there are gems waiting to be discovered that will help you on your journey in life. Some people have to meditate to get there, but you can absolutely get into alignment with your soul, by enjoying what you are doing in the moment too, like preparing a meal, gardening, singing ect…  Checking  in with your own God-given guidance system is the place where alignment, peace, and answers reside. The more often you go there, makes for a lovelier walk through the park. It’s all how you look at it.

New Beginnings

As the New Year approaches we all find ourselves asking the same question year after year and that is, what will my new New Years resolution be? I discovered one thing that gives me the most bang for my buck year after year. What is it? Presence…..presence in the moment.  Ever held a grudge, anger, regret, or resentment against someone, and held onto those thoughts for a long time, maybe even for years? Let it go. Those moments have come and gone, and they’re not coming back. Why on Earth would anyone want to spend their valuable time harboring old feelings? Katie Byron author of “Loving What is”, came up with a simple formula to help people find out the truth about what angers them. The following are four questions to ask yourself when you are angry at someone. First,…”It is true?”, Next, “Can you be absolutely sure that that is true?”  Then ask,”How do you react when you think that thought?” And finally, “Who would you be without that thought?” After answering these questions you then must turn it around. In other words, you be the person you are mad at, and ask the same questions, and most importantly spend time contemplating the answers equally. I attended a workshop of Katie’s several years ago, and watched how her formula actually helped someone in the audience to recognize the REAL truth about her matter. A girl was harboring  a lot of anger towards her mother for 10 years, because evidently, her mom left her for 1 year when she was a child. After Katie talked her through the questions, the girl had realized that yes indeed, her mom left her for one year, but that she herself had then left her mom for TEN years, because of the anger she carried towards her. Her mom was young, and needed time to regroup and pull herself together in order to be a good mom, but the daughter hated her for that. The girl had essentially given away 10 years of her life in anger, that she can’t get back.  She wept at the truth of the matter! When I look back upon my own life experiences, I realized that there were many times that I held grudges against people for things I didn’t  understand at the time, but now I know that it simply didn’t matter. I realized that I write my own script in life, and I’m in charge of how my ship sails. I say full speed ahead. I want to live, not be held down by negative thoughts, that have kept me from thriving, and from loving what is! Therefore, once again my New Years resolution will be, to live in the present moment, and not let things stick from the past. I’ll own what’s mine, and make amends immediately when I’m at fault. We can’t control everyone’s behavior, but we can control how we react to it! It’s all how you look at it!

Input Output

How do you spend your energy? Do you spend it wisely, or do you give as much away as possible. Do you find yourself exhausted at the end of the day, because you did so much for so many other people? Although if feels great to give to your children, family, or friends, it also can leave you feeling drained, tired, and sometimes even depressed. The most important thing a person can do for themselves is make sure the input verses output of energy distribution is balanced. Making sure that you are doing as much for yourself as you do for others, will give you more energy and you’ll be happier. When the output is overspent, you suffer more. What results can be anything from being overweight, getting sick often, depression, or losing yourself, and not recognizing who you are anymore. There is a saying that says “When mom’s happy, then everyone is happy”. There’s so much truth to that. Take the time to evaluate your life. Make sure YOU have something you enjoy doing for yourself. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.  Make sure you have a plan to do something you’ve always wanted to do, after your children grow up and move out. Teach your children that it is important to take care of themselves too. There are too many of us walking around expending more than we have, and as a result many are suffering.  When input verses output is balanced, then life is good. It’s all how you look at it.

Own It

Last night my family and I, met one of my cousins and her family visiting from New Mexico, at a nice restaurant at the Prudential Center in Boston. I seldom see her and we were looking forward to it. My son has been going to restaurants with us since he was a baby, and naturally knows how to behave, but this particular night he was …shall we say….., annoying.

When I woke up this morning I had an epiphany. I realized that things wouldn’t have been so bad last night, had I not paid attention to them, and emphasized my displeasure of  my son’s behavior, which of course only made it worse. This was a perfect example of how things turn sour, when we stay out of alignment or balance with who we really are. I have to remind myself from time to time that it doesn’t matter what I think about someone elses behavior but my own. Our souls only know well-being, and it is up to us individually, to decide whether we want to detour from that or not. It’s true that children need role models, and I’m afraid I wasn’t a good one last night. My behavior taught him to misbehave, and how to create big reactions from others, when I should have taught him instead, that what he was doing was only entertaining to himself, and eventually he would have  thrown it out. What I should have shown him instead, was another way of getting people’s attention, such as, looking at the person I was talking too, being a good listener, and taking turns in the conversation. Since we hadn’t seen each other in so long, I forgot about including my son in the conversation. After much thought, I realized that I owned the situation. It was my behavior that I was upset about!  Why did I give up my well-being or balance? There are many vibrations, good and bad, that we run into on a daily basis. What do you do when someone rubs you the wrong way? Re-center yourself  by focusing on your heart center, and then carry on in a peaceful manner. Remind yourself that,  “this too shall pass”.  If I’m OK, then everything else around me will eventually be OK too. It’s all how you look at it.

Unlock the Mysteries of the Subconscious

Having friends that we can count on are absolute treasures.  They are the kind of people who will do anything for you, and practically give their right arm for you! They are so kind and often, you may notice that some of them are sometimes overly generous. Maybe that someone is you, but have you ever asked yourself, if you have any friends who would do the same thing for you?? If not, then consider that perhaps you are not ALLOWING anybody to take care of you too. Why?…………… Spending the time contemplating that question, may help unlock your subconscious, and find unfounded beliefs about yourself, such as, (I don’t deserve it.), and you have held on to that thought for far too long, and therefore have accepted as truth. Did someone in your past make you believe that you were no good, not smart enough, not rich enough, or not going to amount to much when you grew up? I once was a teacher assistant in an eighth grade classroom. The first day of school the teacher gave each student a  smooth brown lunch bag, and they were to write down wonderful things about themselves on it. Each time a student would put  down another student their bag got twisted or crinkled a little.  Over time their bag is not smooth anymore but all twisted, wrinkled, and unattractive. That bag represented a person’s self-esteem, and how deeply we can be affected by insults, and put downs. What happens when they grow up? They subconsciously spend most of their life trying to prove there worthiness to others. Often they find themselves trying too hard to please other people. If you, or someone else you know find themselves at the end of the day, disappointed, depressed, or  just unfulfilled, then simply start shifting your thoughts to what you want, not what IS or what WAS. If you want someone to love, than define what it is you want in that someone, if you want someone to be as generous as you are to them, then imagine it, and most importantly, accept it when offered, with much appreciation. You like everyone else deserves it! With a lot of practice you can remove unwanted thoughts, and behaviors that have kept you for so long from receiving all that you have asked for. In time you can smooth out your lunch bag, and return to well-being.