Input Output

How do you spend your energy? Do you spend it wisely, or do you give as much away as possible. Do you find yourself exhausted at the end of the day, because you did so much for so many other people? Although if feels great to give to your children, family, or friends, it also can leave you feeling drained, tired, and sometimes even depressed. The most important thing a person can do for themselves is make sure the input verses output of energy distribution is balanced. Making sure that you are doing as much for yourself as you do for others, will give you more energy and you’ll be happier. When the output is overspent, you suffer more. What results can be anything from being overweight, getting sick often, depression, or losing yourself, and not recognizing who you are anymore. There is a saying that says “When mom’s happy, then everyone is happy”. There’s so much truth to that. Take the time to evaluate your life. Make sure YOU have something you enjoy doing for yourself. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.  Make sure you have a plan to do something you’ve always wanted to do, after your children grow up and move out. Teach your children that it is important to take care of themselves too. There are too many of us walking around expending more than we have, and as a result many are suffering.  When input verses output is balanced, then life is good. It’s all how you look at it.

Trans(parent) Veil

Being a parent is an incredible responsibility and an education, but with many benefits. It’s amazing how much you learn about yourself raising your own children. Taking the time to stand back and observe yourself, while in the middle of  listening to a screaming child, begins a new level of grace and understanding. If you can watch and observe yourself arguing back with a child, then there is great opportunity for you to see-through the veil, of what is really going on. Perhaps, the argument has nothing to do with what you thought it was about, rather having more to do with other things going on in your life, or maybe even memories of your own childhood. My brother and I used to fight like cats and dogs when we were young, because when he came along, after three sisters before him, it seemed to me, from my perspective as a child, that nobody else mattered but him once ” he” came along.  Therefore, ask yourself, am I holding onto childhood memories that no longer serve me? Could this be affecting my relationship with my own child? Of course everyone’s life is different, and everyone brings different things to the table, but the point is to check-in with yourself from time to time, and make sure you are living in the present moment. Taking the time to watch and observe what you are doing is the doorway to looking through the veil. It’s all how you look at it.

Own It

Last night my family and I, met one of my cousins and her family visiting from New Mexico, at a nice restaurant at the Prudential Center in Boston. I seldom see her and we were looking forward to it. My son has been going to restaurants with us since he was a baby, and naturally knows how to behave, but this particular night he was …shall we say….., annoying.

When I woke up this morning I had an epiphany. I realized that things wouldn’t have been so bad last night, had I not paid attention to them, and emphasized my displeasure of  my son’s behavior, which of course only made it worse. This was a perfect example of how things turn sour, when we stay out of alignment or balance with who we really are. I have to remind myself from time to time that it doesn’t matter what I think about someone elses behavior but my own. Our souls only know well-being, and it is up to us individually, to decide whether we want to detour from that or not. It’s true that children need role models, and I’m afraid I wasn’t a good one last night. My behavior taught him to misbehave, and how to create big reactions from others, when I should have taught him instead, that what he was doing was only entertaining to himself, and eventually he would have  thrown it out. What I should have shown him instead, was another way of getting people’s attention, such as, looking at the person I was talking too, being a good listener, and taking turns in the conversation. Since we hadn’t seen each other in so long, I forgot about including my son in the conversation. After much thought, I realized that I owned the situation. It was my behavior that I was upset about!  Why did I give up my well-being or balance? There are many vibrations, good and bad, that we run into on a daily basis. What do you do when someone rubs you the wrong way? Re-center yourself  by focusing on your heart center, and then carry on in a peaceful manner. Remind yourself that,  “this too shall pass”.  If I’m OK, then everything else around me will eventually be OK too. It’s all how you look at it.

Mothers Day Gift

As Mother Day approaches, many of us  find ourselves evaluating our roles as Mom’s.  We wonder if we are doing a good job, if we could do more, and whether or not our children know that we are doing the best we can. It’s OK to reflect on the past, but I have found that all that really matters is the present moment. When you are home with your children are you fully engaged with them, or is your mind patially at work, or on chore’s that need to get done? For some working moms it’s a difficult thing to balance. I have found that if I schedule a certain amount of time with my child, he is delighted and happy, because he knows he can count on having my undivided attention during that 30 minutes. If you don’t have that much time, then even breaking  up that time say ten minutes here, and ten minutes there, it makes a big difference. What I noticed, when I was fully engaged with my son, is how bright he is. If I hadn’t taken the time to REALLY listen, and pay attention to what he was trying to tell me, then I would have missed a great opportunity to notice how special he really is. Kids are our teachers too. They are a product of what we dreamed up prior to them arriving here, and so therefore, allow them to teach us what they have come here knowing already. Have you noticed that some children have come here cable-ready? My son knew his way around any TV accessory before I did! He knew how to use the DVR, Blue Ray, Roku box, Game Cube and Wii. Although it is our job to help guide a child through his life,  they too have come here to teach us something.  They have been there and done that before too. What a gift it is to a parent and child, when both are interacting or living in the moment sharing quality time with each other. Everyday is a Mothers day gift. It’s all how you look at it.